How to Support the LGBTQ+ Community with Adam Maurer

​My colleague, Adam Maurer, is my go to guy for all things sexuality, identity and relationships. He is an LPC and LMFT at Moontower Counseling here in Austin , working with individuals and couples of all types. As an openly gay and queer man who has worked with many folks in the LGBTQ+ community, I knew he would be the best person to interview for this post. I enjoy helping people within the community, but since I myself am not apart of it, I thought this would be a good opportunity to learn more.

His story

He grew up in a family with a religious mother where sex and sexuality weren't talked about. He learned that being gay was “wrong” and learned to hide that part of himself. He wanted to please his family and the people in his life at the expense of being his true self. When he was a teenager he saw a counselor for the first time. There he became more accepting of who he really was and came out to the therapist. This was a healing and inspiring experience for him. It gave him the strength to be open with people in his life about his identity and to became a counselor. He had to face difficult conversations and work through feelings of shame. Over the years he has become comfortable in his own skin and no longer feels the need to hide.

What counselors should know about the community

As we all know, shame is one of the most painful emotions to feel. It is a very common experience for those in the LGBTQ+ community. Shame can lead to symptoms of anxiety and depression. Many have sophisticated defense mechanisms that they have learned in order to handle the stress of keeping something secret. Most are used to scanning the environment for clues to whether people or places are safe. Often they might drops hints about their struggles. It is important to pick up on these and be open to discussing it more. Be curious and supportive. Here’s an example: A client says “My family doesn’t like the people I date. Therapist replies “Does that mean you date men, women, trans folks?”

Also, it's good to know that coming out is a process. It's not a one time thing when someone tells their parents. It happens over and over again when the person is in a situation with new people. It may take awhile for the person to feel comfortable telling them and they might not decide to do it all. Respect their choices.

What's an ally?

An ally is someone who supports LGBTQ+ folks even though they are not apart of the community. Often it means to be knowledgeable about queer experiences and to take action in some form. An ally is also someone who allows the person to be their whole and true self without judgment.

How to be a good ally

Speak out! Liking something on Facebook is nice and all but more action is needed. Use the privilege that you have to denounce discrimination verbally. For example, if you hear someone make fun of a queer person, call them out. Tell them that what they said was hurtful and that you don't agree. It's also great to donate time, effort and money to support causes that affect this population. Believe in marriage equality? Don't be afraid to say so and back that up by going to a rally, calling your representative, etc.


I am so thankful that Adam took the time out to talk to me about these important issues. It has inspired me to advocate and serve this community better. I hope it will inspire you to do the same. Happy Pride today and everyday!